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Lessons I’ve learned to live by this year...

Jamieson Van Loan

As promised last week, I am going to share some lessons/experiences/thoughts/feelings that I really took to heart this past year. I hope you can relate to one or two.

Here we go:

1) Kindness is free and effin amazing, so share it....

We should always approach every single situation with kindness. It shows respect and honors others' time and space. I often find myself stressed out and then my kindness tends to go out the window. I constantly remind myself that kindness is the easiest thing I can do and its changed how I go about my day. Be kind, always.

2) Love is the basis of our existence. Find your inner love and share it.

First and foremost you need to love yourself. Like really love even the darkest places of your soul. You need to be happy with your thoughts, the way you view and exist in the world and from there, your inner love will shine outwardly. It is super cheesy but it is also the greatest way to change your day and, really, your life. Once you love yourself and can then share that love, your entire existence will change.

3) Self-care is beyond important but also doesn’t mean spending a fortune and stressing yourself out

I think we have all had an overload of self-care lately. Just like diet fads, new self-care must-dos are popping up everywhere. Lately I have found that my biggest self-care routine is doing absolutely nothing and putting my phone away. I don't need spas or face masks or the newest workout craze- I just need time to contemplate and breathe. Don't let self-care become a stressor. Only invite in easy and affordable ways to take care of yourself.

4) Your tribe is everything. Treat them as such.

We talked about this last week. Your support system is what gets you through each day. As it's our greatest human desire to be respected and appreciated, show this love to the people who surround you. Make sure your tribe aligns with the life that you want.

5) Your energy and vibrations are for REAL (and you should pay attention to them)

What you put out into the world, you get back to you. Listening to your intuitions and creating a positive energy within you, allows you to vibrate at a higher level. It may sound woo-woo to you, but I promise if you begin meditating and manifesting a positive energy force around and within you, your life will change for the better. The higher energy you create invites others with the same high energies, and this reinforces your kickass tribe.

6) Stress is real but impermanent.

Enough said. We all have stress but it doesn't stick with us. Rather than putting energy into the stress, allow it to exist and acknowledge that it will eventually fade. Taking charge of the stress, rather than let it own your day is a healthier way to coexist with it. Just keep in mind, this too shall pass.

7) Own your shit.

We all have moments when we aren't the greatest versions of ourselves. We get angry, we have meltdowns, we stress out, we take things out on people who don't deserve it- we are a flawed species. But you need to own it. You need to apologize when needed. Sometimes you need to eat crow. You need to be aware of when your shit is overflowing into someone's else's life. This means constant self-awareness and humility.

8) Dance like no one is watching.

Literally and figuratively. Life is way too short to care about others' opinions of you. If you want to dance- do it- like a freakshow. Trust me, I do it all the dang time. This is just a reminder to go for whatever makes you happy in life, regardless of others. And do it with extreme passion.

9) Learn to say no but come from a place of yes.

Saying no is sometimes the hardest thing we can do. I often struggle with this. I stretch myself thin saying yes to everyone and everything. I am learning to value my time and energy over anything else. I am learning to say no and not feel guilty. But I also come from a place of yes. Yes to new experiences, yes to getting outside my comfort zone, yes to things that push me to grow.

10) Your language, inner and outer, lends to your mindset.

How you treat yourself in your head is crucial. The language that you use when you talk to yourself or others is lending to the space that you hold. If you are being negative internally, it will lead to negativity externally. So be positive and kind to yourself. Your words have power. They create intentions. They affect others. Be purposeful with your language.

11) You can only control yourself (and accepting this is crucial to happiness)

I feel like the biggest complaints I give or I hear from friends are always about situations we cannot control. Realizing that we can only control ourselves, our thoughts and our reactions is so important to leading a happier life. It is also about letting go of expectations. You cannot control the past, the future, nor anyone else (even the people you think you can). Accepting this, while putting away your expectations, puts you on the road towards happiness.

12) Honesty really is the best policy.

Don't lie to yourself. Don't lie to others. Approach all situations with the utmost integrity. It speaks to who you are. Be someone with moral high grounds.

13) Find your inner child and live by his/her rules.

Remember the simpler days: the days you ran to everywhere you were going, you had energy for days, you giggled and found joy in the mundane. Find that inner child inside of you and try to live more aligned to his/her values. Don't take things so seriously and realize that we are just specks of dust in this grand universe. Life should be less serious, more fun. Otherwise what are we here for?

14) Be vulnerable. It’s important.

Vulnerability is such a valuable tool. We tend to shy away from it because it is scary and letting your guard down invites possible hurt and rejection. But this is where your biggest leaps and bounds in life happen. In the place of discomfort, we grow. Learn to live with your vulnerable side- it's really the most honest and beautiful part of your soul.

15) Just breathe.

When in doubt, just breathe. Really deep, slow, long breaths. It naturally calms down your nervous system and allows your mind to relax. Taking five minutes out of your day to close your eyes and just focus on your breath is a real game-changer.

I hope you enjoyed my top lessons over this past year. I'd love to hear some of yours. Please share!

Lots of love,