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Are you a giver or a taker?

Jamieson Van Loan

This past week I posted an image on my personal instagram that said "some people will only love you as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stop." I got an insane amount of responses to this, mostly high five emojis and "so true".  

I had posted this because I understand this unease with unbalanced relationships. There are people that you can give and give and give to and never receive anything back. There are also people who do use you to fulfill a void in their life and then drop you once it's filled. That being said I do not think those humans are aware that they are doing this. No one actively seeks to use someone. The question is why do we let it happen? Why do we allow ourselves to be used?

Part of me thinks it is this desire to "change" someone. That if I give enough, eventually they will realize how amazing I am and give back. Part of me thinks for certain people, being the giver in any relationship is a part of their genetic coding (me!). And the other part is that we don't value ourselves enough to demand a balance. 

This is where the work comes in. We need to know our worth and demand the respect it deserves, in any and all relationships. This is not limited to intimate relationships but across the board with friendships, family and work. 

Reading this quote really made me reevaluate relationships in my life. Am I the one always putting in the work? Or am I the one sitting back on my laurels and benefiting without giving? Either way, it stops here and now!

Who is with me?

I hope you all have a beautiful (dry!) Memorial day weekend! Please take time to acknowledge all the beautiful souls that we have lost in the armed services.

Maikana is closed on Monday but we will see you Tuesday!

Jamieson xo