Contact Us

Please fill out the form and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks for your patience!

(203) 981-2193

Blog

Filtering by Tag: comfort zone

Are you on autopilot?

Jamieson Van Loan

I wake up just before 4:45. I meditate. I shower. I get dressed. I walk my dog. I go to work. I prep and create meals for the next five plus hours. I go to yoga. I go back to work. Cook more. I go home. I email. I work some more. I make dinner. I hang with loved ones. I go to bed. I do it again. 

This is a typical day in my life. This is my autopilot. We all have our own autopilot, our routines. It is our cruise control in life. We move through the day with our brains unconsciously navigating the accustomed habits. 

There are benefits to autopilot. It is our comfort zone. It creates a nice buffer area, where we can sleepily maneuver through the world. It allows us to tackle situations with less stress. It is the space where your brain can function automatically without overthought. And because we are creatures of habit, autopilot is a safe place for us. 

But on the flip side living on autopilot mode is killing all of our spirits. Not to be dramatic about it, but every day is one step closer to our last day and here we are cruising through life without intention. Do you ever get to the end of your day and say, "where did this day go?" or "what did I even do today?" This is your life on autopilot. And why do we want to have such regimented days? Our goal should be to challenge the routine every day. We need to put the brakes on our cruise control minds. Adults make an average of 35,000 decisions a day. Are you being mindful with those decisions or are you on autopilot?

Our  every day goal should be to live a life of purpose. Purpose comes with intention. We need to set a course for a life of purpose, not just wait for it to happen. So every decision you make should come from a place of active thought. There should be a pause and reflect moment before deciding. This will help steer you away from the automatic brain. 

As I've said many times before, growth occurs in the discomfort. We need to try to exist outside of our comfort zone, our autopiloted lives, to really evolve. Autopilot equals stagnation. Experience beyond our scope creates the verve for beautiful living. 

So the question is: what do you want your life to look like?

Imagine exactly what you want your life to look like one week from now, one month from now, one year from now and then proceed forward saying no to whatever deters you from that path. Try to turn off your cruise control and really only say yes to the decisions that fill your life with that purpose.

Start today. Shut off autopilot. Live with intent. 


Be love. Share love.
Jamiesonxo

Keeping it comfy...

Jamieson Van Loan

The holiday season always seems to be a time of reflection. A time where we ponder where this year has gone and what has brought us to this current space we occupy. Recently someone asked me about my life plans, for lack of a better term. At my age, I get the typical questions "do you want to get married" "do you want kids" etc. And I have my generic response "hopefully, one day" (although hope is a four letter word for me but that's another rant). 

Normally, I put zero thought into this line of questioning. Curiosity is a natural human condition. Whether it be the holiday reflection or the past few weeks of my life, but this time I really thought about these questions and my answer. 

Here is my conclusion: 

This is me. I am 36. I am single. I have no kids. I do not own a home. I have never been married. I have chosen this life. I have had opportunities for all of those things but I chose this life. Do I want kids? Yes. Do I want a husband? Meh.
JK, a life partner may be cool. Marriage? I could take it or leave it. 

I have never been the girl with ambitions to wed and have the white picket fence with 1.5 kids and a labrador. If this is you- kudos- you know what you want.

For me, I wanted adventure. I wanted to travel. I wanted experiences. I wanted stories to tell. I wanted to witness cultures. I wanted to meet new humans. I still want these things. My desire for experience has not been satiated. 

I realized that what feeds my soul the most are the things that exist outside of the normal comfort zone. What I mean by "normal comfort zone" is the ideals that society imposes on us and that majority of people desire and obtain. And these are all beautiful things to desire: a family, a home, a partner- it is what life is about. It is just not what my life is about. 

I have an irrational fear of routine. I quit a catering job once because if I had to make 300 more Vietnamese spring rolls, I was gonna chop my arm off. I couldn't bear showing up to work every day and doing the exact same thing over and over again. The monotony was killing my soul. One aspect I love about being an entrepreneur is that I never know where my day is going to take me. I am constantly being forced to do things that make me uncomfortable. I live in a state of dis-ease with work and I love it. I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Comfort zones are the spaces where habits and rituals exist and where stress, anxiety and fear are at their lowest. It is where most people enjoy spending their lives. And why wouldn't you? Less stress and anxiety is what we all want. 

But for me, I need to be in a constant state of evolution. I need to be forced to exist outside of the settled spaces and experience the discomfort. I need to experience the unknown. For its in this realm of discomfort that growth occurs. 

There is a term called optimal anxiety. Essentially, it is the favored level of anxiety that you can handle while still being productive. Everyone has a different level and I tend to have a higher threshold. It is not that I crave stress and anxiety, but I do tend to thrive in those situations. 

When you're in your comfort zone, you're safe and secure. But there is no expansion. You are not pushing your limits. This to me is not an option. I need to be thrust into the unknown and challenge what I think to be true. 

And this is what I learned about myself this week. I crave challenges. I want the difficult puzzles that need to be viewed from all angles to be solved. I feel the most happy when I am not settling for the status quo. I need the grueling moments so I can examine myself and find my growth. 

And this year has been nothing except growth for me. It has been my most difficult and most rewarding year yet. I am at the happiest I have ever been and yet I had the most painful beginning. How can this be? 

It is because my challenging situation forced me to break down a barrier. I had no choice but to move outside of my comfort zone. Once the boundary had been knocked down, I was able to expand. I am so grateful to have gone through it. The personal evolution has been immeasurable. 

This brings me to my entire point. I may not have babies and a husband and a white picket fence. And I may never have those things but my life is filled with love. The amount of love that is showered on me every day and that I have the honor of sharing with people is infinite. I can't tell you how many times a day I say "I love you" to people. How lucky am I? 

So next time someone asks me what my life plans are, here is my answer:
To be loved and share love. 

xo