Is complaining cathartic?

Let's see. Lately I keep seeing or being a part of situations that really make me question humanity. Hah! Well, not that dramatic. But how often are you in situations where you are like “is this for real?” Am I really on the receiving end of something so stupid or petty or whatever it is? And your mental reaction is that you’re physically shaking the person in some pathetic attempt to knock sense into them?

Anyone else experience this?

My therapist would tell me to stop judging the people because you never know what day they are having or what caused them to do that. And yes, I get that. Agreed. Being less judgmental and more compassionate towards humanity is the ultimate goal. But here is where my lines get so crossed that I cannot help myself but judge. When your choice impedes or affects my life in a negative manner, regardless of why you THINK you have a right to do or say something. Choosing to be or act negatively towards someone for no other reason than because you feel like it is not ok.

Here’s the thing. I never go out into this world attempting to be negative or do negative things to anyone else. Ever. I would love to think that everyone is on this same page. And yes, we all have those days that go completely haywire and then you’re screaming at your bank representatives because your information got stolen yet again. For sure. We are all entitled to bad days. We are all allowed to be a crappy human once in a while. With the hopes that we own it and apologize when needed.

The difference in that versus what I am complaining about today is when people make choices to be negative or do negative things to another for no rational reason. Or at least a reason that my brain can make sense of.

I’ll give you a couple examples of many that happened this week. For one, I had a friend visiting and staying with me. They parked their car on the road because my driveway was full. The road is public domain. There are no “no parking” signs or restrictions on the road I live on. Everyone who has excess cars parks on the street daily. But for some reason, one of my neighbors decided to write a note on my friend’s car saying “Do not park here. Park in the driveway of the house you are visiting or staying at. Thanks.” Not very neighborly. Nor a big deal at all. Usually I’d just laugh and toss the note in the garbage, but I’ve had many run-ins with neighbors who seem to think that they are in charge of the street and its affairs because they live on it. I can see how you think that by owning a house on road that you are now the king or queen of that road. Got it. But in reality, you are only in charge of your own property and that is it. Same as in life. Stay in your lane. Now had my friend parked in your driveway, sure be pissed, leave a note, call the cops. But they parked on a public street. And that should have zero bearing on you. What good did it do for that neighbor to write a note in the middle of the night, march over and put it there? What is wrong with that person that they had to take the precious time on this planet and be negative towards someone without a leg to stand on? What harm was his car doing to him/her? This is a shakeable moment for me. If I had any idea of what neighbor it was, I’d mentally grab them and say “life is too short” or “people still have polio” or anything to knock reality into them.

Cut to me pulling out of a parking lot space the other day. I am in my car, reverse lights on and I’m waiting for a minibus to go past me so I can reverse. But instead the minibus stopped in a completely empty parking lot right behind my car and began to unload, causing me to wait almost ten minutes (I looked at the clock). At the end I got out of my car and asked the driver if he had seen that I was reversing and he said “yea but I didn’t know if you were coming or going.” Huh? What difference does that make? Why wouldn’t you pull up four feet and allow me the freedom to move through my day? Why would you impede on my time? (also causing me to be late to my next meeting but who cares about that)

It is these petty, stupid, negative choices that people make that drive me nuts. I always joke that I want a pile of business cards that just says “starving children in Africa” and I want to hand them out silently to people who participate in crap like this. Why choose to hinder someone’s day? Why waste your energy on petty crap, folks?

And yes, you can argue that me complaining about these people is a waste of my energy. Correct. But really this is a call out to you and me to try to be kind thoughtful humans. To not let the petty crap bother you. To not think that your time is more worthy or precious than anyone else’s. To be aware that you are not the only one moving through this world. To not leave your grocery cart parked right in the middle of the Costco aisle so no one else can get by. To try to coexist as peacefully and kindly as sloths do. Minding your own affairs and not adversely affecting others. Amirite?

Feeling lighter,

Jamiesonxo