A Tribute to Tavi Girl

A week ago, today, I had to make the second hardest decision of my life, the choice to put my baby girl, Tavi down. My dog, a Frenchie, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, hemangiosarcoma in early 2022 and was given three weeks to three months max to live. She outlived that awful sentence by 18 months, and I am eternally grateful for every second I got to spend with her. She was a lover of good grass, anything I ate besides French fries and green beans, running on the beach, being off leash anywhere, being the best road trip buddy, snuggling on the couch, snoring in bed, her squeaky pig, basking in the sunshine, ripping apart any toy within minutes, sleeping majority of the day but zooming around at night, her stuffed baby sloth, any and all walks, especially in the woods, licking lotion off people, belly scratches, going to any outdoor restaurant or bar that would have her, running to greet and jump on anyone at the door, immediately crawling into my lap when I was upset, head scratches between her satellite dish ears, but most of all she loved all the humans who loved on her. She did not really like other dogs, but she deeply loved her humans. She was the best gift in my life. She showed up at a time when I definitely did not want a dog, not knowing that I certainly needed one. There are not enough words of gratitude and love in the English language to cover what she meant to me.

I read once that dogs are only put on this planet for a short period of time because they come into the world already knowing the real purpose of life: to love. Humans, on the other hand, have to spend decades more on this planet figuring out the same exact thing. We may be put on this planet for individual purposes, but the true endgame is to be love and to share that love.

I've said this before and I'll say it again, no one goes to their deathbed asking to be surrounded by their cars, money, or college degrees. We take our last breath, hoping to be surrounded by our loved ones. We want to leave this world surrounded by love and our memories of love. Tavi (short for Tavarua, a tiny but powerful island in Fiji) left this world with me lying next to her, nose to nose, with me telling her what a good girl she is, how strong she is, how much she is loved, how much I love her and how grateful I am for her choosing me as her mama. She ate Ferrero Rocher, dark chocolate peanut butter cups and Bambas- all things she used to beg me for. She went peacefully and surrounded by love. Thankfully, I had the support of my dad and my older sister because I was hysterical after she passed. Yet again, a reminder that all we need is love in this world. And maybe, a really good hug.

One of my favorite quotes is: “If you want to find what matters to you, find what breaks your heart.” As someone who is in a serious bout of heartbreak, I know what matters to me. And honestly, I have never had to question what matters to me. I always know. I am always aware of who or what I love, and I always make that known. I do not hide my love, I share it. Effortlessly. If vulnerability is not your forte, this may be hard for you to digest. But for me, it's so simple, if you love someone- tell them, show them, act like it. Because you never know when your last time to exude love is actually your last.

This blog is not for sympathy. It is a reminder to love and love hard. It is a reminder to show and share that beautiful power inside of you daily.  If Tavi taught me anything, it's that love is our constant answer amidst the chaos of the world. The unwavering, effortless, safe and unceasing love she showed me is exactly what you want to come home to. When you actually realize the fragility of life, you only seek love. Love is the umbrella that we all huddle under when the hardships of the world pour around us. 

As a tribute to Tavi girl, please hug, kiss, and pour love all over the people and pets honored enough to be loved by you- today, tomorrow and always. Remember that love is a gift, please learn to accept it and to share it. xo

PS- if you can, please rescue or foster a dog, don't buy one. There are so many dogs that are in desperate need of love and affection. I may have rescued Tavi, but she rescued me a million times over. xo